Life by Design, Not by Default

April 7, 2011 Finding Peace

There is a lot going on in the world right now. Every conversation I have, or even overhear, people are asking big questions. What is real? What now? When will things get back to ‘normal’? What do I need to do? Will I be ok? Will my family be ok? The answers become very important when life feels unstable. So this post is about finding a different, more empowering, perspective. It’s about creating your life in a way that makes sense. Here’s an excerpt. There is more inside…

“When I slip between the curtains, I glimpse an entirely different world. The Real World. The world of Here and Now. The Present Moment where the Past and the Present cannot exist. They must remain outside. Past and Future are foreigners here. The Present is 3-dimensional, fluid, active, waiting to be molded. This Real World is expansive and spacious, peaceful yet vibrant. It is the place where changes are made. It is the place of action, the place of creativity. Once I’ve entered the Magical Present the tools appear to design my desired Future.

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Fear or Love – That is the Question

March 21, 2011 Anger

I decided to write about fear last week, even before another fire broke out above Boulder, where I live. Even before the tsunami in Japan and before learning about potential leaks from the nuclear reactors. Since fear is such a reality during divorce I had planned to talk about how fear can hijack a divorce and take it in an entirely different direction than either or both parties want it to go. It seems like a really good time to talk about fear in general. Fear is, well, scary. Are there useful things about fear? How might we manage it?

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The Ultimate Goal of Dreaming

March 2, 2011 BEing vs DOing

I gain a lot of personal insights as I write this newsletter. What I’ve recently learned has allowed me to put the whip down and let myself just BE a little bit instead of always DOing. I feel just a little slothful but ultimately it’s like a vacation… a much needed vacation. It’s opened up some needed breathing room. Something I didn’t expect is that within that breathing space I’ve found more compassion for myself and others. I guess I couldn’t offer what I didn’t have.

Realizing that tough times signal a growth step that must be made has caused a profound shift for me. I teach people that all the time, but it’s a little hard to recognize it when it applies to me. A forest for the trees kind of thing. I’m too close. But I remember now, and it’s changed my angst from discouragement to curiosity. Whew.

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From Chaos to Clarity

February 16, 2011 Book Review

Life events move us from place to place, event to event, ending to new beginning. Somehow, in the process we move along a path from a least authentic self to a higher, bigger, more aware, more authentic version of self. We can remain content with where we are in life, or in relationship, for quite some time… until we’re not. Until we catch a glimpse that there’s something more interesting, or freeing, beyond our current life circumstance we may not look for it. At some point we become aware that the same old same old just isn’t enough… something new is making its appearance. But what is that something? Is it a job change, a relationship change, a move to a new home, country or environment? Maybe you know what the new thing is but don’t know where to begin to implement it. Or maybe you were once living a dream that you liked and counted on but were upended by life circumstances and you need to start again.

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Abiding

January 25, 2011 BEing vs DOing

BEing is more than just not DOing. This is where ‘abiding’ comes in. It is about stillness. It’s about trust. Some may call it faith. It’s about being centered, grounded, calm in the midst of life’s storms. It’s about being true to myself and in turn true to others by being clear about my needs, wants, expectations and capacities. It’s the clarion call of my soul. It is the place where all of life’s craziness is balanced with an unshakable trust that all is well just as it is. For me, as one who has spent far too much time trying to keep the world in order, abiding is being ok with the chaos of daily living. (click the title to read more)

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The Shiny New Door of 2011

January 5, 2011 BEing vs DOing

There it stands. Gleaming. Mysterious. The doorway to 2011. On the other side of the door your life in 2011, awaits. On the other side of the door your future self, You in 2011, is waiting to greet you. You approach the door curiously, tentatively. Carefully placing each step. Yellow light bubbles playfully around your feet, spilling out onto the walk from under the door. You hear muffled but lively sounds. As you reach the door, you rap lightly. It opens wide. Your future self of 2011 has been expecting you. S/He greets you with a broad grin and beckons you to enter with a sweep of his or her arm. Although this person is incredibly familiar something is different… something that you can’t quite pinpoint. You’re not quite sure what it is. The broad grin and wise eyes tell you that s/he has something to tell you. Instinctively you know that s/he has grown some. Learned some. Forgiven some. Tried some new things. You are ready to listen…

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Memories are for Sharing

November 14, 2010 Divorce Recovery

I’m several years out of my divorce and many more years out of my marital home and it’s just starting to hit me. I’m sure I preemptively grieved the lost memories. I cried enough to have grieved everything that could possibly come up… but here it is again. This time for the lost memories.

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Creating Space

November 1, 2010 BEing vs DOing

Is your life full of busy-ness? Some days I feel like I’m drowning in busy-ness. I’m not the only one. I find it hard to get people together at one time and in one place – even for something fun. Scheduling conflicts abound. There are so many worthwhile things to invest time in. Maybe too many choices sometimes. The biggest clue for me that I’m DOing instead of BEing is a simple lack of joy. I feel like I’m fighting against life itself.

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Installing Love

October 18, 2010 Learning from the Journey

I have no idea where this originated. Someone sent it to me via email. If you wrote it and want credit, just let me know. Sometimes we aren’t consciously aware of the default programs we have running in the background of our minds day in and day out.  And, we don’t know what we don’t [...]

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Loss – Rejection or Completion?

October 6, 2010 Book Review

Nothing brings me to the edge of myself like relationship—however short—even this sprout of a relationship has done its work. This relationship ending hasn’t been about rejection at all, but about completion. It’s been about incorporating parts of life, and parts of myself that were heretofore closed off to me. It’s about taking charge of my life…. Of thinking for myself, about myself, by myself…and living the life I’m here to live–despite an occasional hijacking. (A hijacking with awareness can be an awesome trip.)

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